Three Memories
by pookieisaturtle
Summary: Squall, Rinoa, and Seifer all reflect on their pasts individually and deal with their relationships with one another in the present. They all struggle with their conflicting feelings, atoning for the past and trying to leave it behind.
1. The Sea

Three Memories

A/N: Don't sue me. I'm doing this for my own entertainment, I do not own Final Fantasy or it's characters, I just like them. Besides, I have no money.

Enjoy!

Chapter One: The Sea

> > >

When I woke up, everything still seems so surreal. Are my curtains really moving with the sea breeze? Is the pale light filtering through my windows sunlight? I rolled over and looked at my clock. The red digital numbers glowed bright.

7:47 AM.

Yes, it's real. I heard somewhere you can't read in dreams.

I'm surrounded by the pale walls of Balamb Garden and I wondered if I belong. If things had gone the way it should have, I would still be living with that man. At least it was familiar, and least that was where mother had lived.

I would have stayed with Zone and Watts. I would have stayed with the Forest Owls. I would have liberated Timber the way we were supposed to. I might have stayed with him. But everything that happened, happened.

So I went to Garden that night, so long ago. I went to the party, and I spoke to the headmaster. And I met Squall. How could I have known what would have happened? If I had known…I didn't even think about sorceresses back then.

At least, not a lot.

And then, after, in Timber, I saw him again. Seifer. What was I supposed to do? He was suddenly the bad guy, where he had always been good and mine before.

But do I regret my choices, and coming to live here?

No.

Because I don't regret.

> > >

There was a sudden knocking on my door, and from the sound of it, I knew who it was. Funny, my heart doesn't jump the way it used to. When Squall woke me up for the first time on Forest Owls train, I was so happy, I nearly lost control.

But I don't trouble myself with it; I chalk it up to being grouchy in the morning. Or is that time approaching? I tick the days off with my fingers. Nah, it can't be the hormones. I'm just grouchy.

The door is knocked on again, sounding slightly more impatient.

"Give me a moment!" I called, and I reluctantly sat up in bed, stretching. I stared into the mirror across the room and tentatively smiled at myself. _Rinoa, you will have a good day. And the good day starts NOW._

So I walked across to the mirror and stared at myself in more detail. So my hair's messy. For fun, I practiced sloe eyes in the mirror, narrowing them, widening them, blinking languorously. Yep, I'm a bewitcher. My own irony is not lost on myself.

"Come on, Rinoa, you can't still be in bed."

"Alright…" I mumbled. Truthfully, I forgot Squall was waiting outside. I was having fun looking into the mirror. This was strange, because I'm not normally a vain person.I opened the door and found myself suddenly staring into Squall's dark eyes.

Now that's more like it. I feel my heart give a tiny leap and my cheeks grew warmer. Ha, so I was grouchy five minutes ago. Ah, to be in love.

Wait.

In love?

Since when am I in love?

It was only two weeks ago that we had that party. And Squall kissed me for the first time on the balcony. Was that love? Am I in love? Sure, he's my knight, and sure, I do like him tons and care for him more, but love? That's a pretty heavy term.

So I stood there, staring at him blankly, trying to find a gentler and less serious term for it. Erm…affection? Fondness? Or….love? Oh boy. Maybe I should just think of something else for now.

"Good morning," Squall said, as he leaned it to kiss my cheek.

I glowed with pleasure at that. It's so nice to have someone kiss you every morning and night. He must lov-

Uh-oh. That word again. Think of something else.

So I took his hand and pulled him into my room. "Morning," I said, and kissed his cheek. "Give me a moment; I just have to get dressed for breakfast."

I go into the adjoining bathroom and fiddle with the taps until warm water comes out. I splashed it onto my face and then brushed my teeth before getting out of my pajamas. When I got back into my bedroom, Squall's sitting on my bed and looking out the window.

Seeing him in that position forcefully reminds me of another time…

> > >

"So, princess, you have a pretty nice house….er…mansion." Seifer raised an eyebrow at me as he plopped onto the side of my irritatingly fluffy bed and stared out the oversized window. "I thought you were really into this Timber liberation thing, but maybe it's just little rich girl finding something to do in her spare time."

Seifer was always like that. Talking and talking and not caring who he hurt. But this roughness excited me then, and I didn't mind it most of the time. But I did this time, because he chose to make fun of the wrong thing.

"Excuse me?" I said, and my voice had a growl to it. "How could you say something like that?"

Seifer shrugged callously. "If you really cared, I just figured you'd get out of this prissy place and live with your Timber Owls full time."

Oh, I wanted to hit him. So I did. I lunged at him angrily and began pounding his shoulders and chest. Truthfully, what he said really stung me. He had hit a sore spot.

He caught my wrist. "Come off it, princess, I was kidding." He said to me softly. Damn him, he always knew how to get me under control. With those green green green eyes….

"You know I would get out if I could." I hissed at him. "But that man would start a hunt for me, and then the cause would be lost when they got me."

"I'm sorry." He said, and sounded sincere. Seifer grinned boyishly at me. "Would you like a surprise?"

"Alright." I couldn't stay irritated with him. I liked him too much, the way he held my hand, took me seriously when I spoke about the liberation, and his smell. Oh, the way he smelled. Come to think of it, it was just the cologne he used, but it was so spicy, so mysterious, that I loved to breathe it in.

We got into the car he rented when he was in Galbadia with me and started driving. We went past the entire city, left the city, and turned north to the beach when he stopped. Seifer quickly opened the trunk and took out a large basket and a blanket.

"Picnic!" He announced triumphantly, lifting these items over his head.

I laughed and took the blanket from him, and we linked arms as we walked on the sand. I can still remember the salty air, the hushing waves, and the sunlight. Seifer could be so romantic. Not that we were officially dating or anything…

I laid out the blanket and sat down with him and he started unpacking the food he brought. Bread, cheese, and a large bottle of…

"Wine? Come on Seifer, we're both still underage."

I nearly fainted as he nuzzled my ear and whispered to me "Sparkling cider, princess." My heart nearly exploded then. This was the closest he had ever got to me, and his cologne, his scent, had made me heady. There was another feeling in my stomach that just sort of buzzed and sent shivers all over me.

He laughed softly, like he knew what I was feeling, and produced two wine glasses, and poured the cider for us. We clinked glasses.

"To the liberation of Timber." Seifer said.

My mouth had gone dry at the intensity in his eyes. Why hadn't I noticed it before? "To the liberation of Timber." I echoed, and took a sip, relishing the wetness in my mouth.

Seifer lifted his glass again and held my eyes with his gaze. Oh, those green eyes. They can still make me shake in spite of myself. "To the princess."

"To…" I stopped, confused. I didn't know if it was right for me to be toasting myself. But it didn't matter, my fingers went weak and I dropped the wine glass. The cider was being soaked up by the sand. Why did I drop the wineglass?

Seifer had set his own glass down in the sand and was holding my face in his hands. I could feel the calluses and the roughness that came from the training, and it excited to know that the hands so capable of killing a T-Rexaur was holding me gently.

My heart was thumping in staccato. Seifer was using a thumb to stroke my ear, and for some reason, I wanted to shut my eyes and sigh.

And he came closer to my face, looking at me so tenderly I thought it couldn't possibly be real, that I was dreaming. To see that look on Seifer's face… But, oh, Hyne, I was awake, I wasn't dreaming, this was happening, and I felt so aware of everything.

So he put his lips on mine. It was like an electric shock, and I was like a dummy. I knew it was coming, but I didn't think it would happen. But I could feel his lips, and so I pressed back with my own.

Suddenly I felt this urgency, I like I never wanted him to stop, so I twined my arms around his neck and parted my lips slightly. Our kiss deepened, and his hands were slowly threading through my hair.

It was heaven, my first kiss.

> > >

I'll be honest. I've been more intimate with Seifer than I have ever been with Squall. I haven't even made out with Squall. I blushed slightly. If Squall could hear my thoughts…he would have an aneurysm on the spot.

But I'm shaken out of those very thoughts when he takes my hand. They feel exactly like Seifer's, and it's no wonder why. I chided myself for the thought.

We're walking to the cafeteria now, the commander and I. I can't believe Squall actually continued this job after we beat Ultimecia and everything. He wasn't too keen on it in the first place, so why would he want to continue?

His grip on my hand tightened as we passed a bunch of students. They're whispering amongst themselves, no doubt about me, the big bad sorceress.

I realized how grateful I am to have Squall by my side. If it were Seifer, those kids would be dead in half a second. Involuntarily, I cringe. Why can't I stop thinking about Seifer today? I haven't seen him since…since…well, since he offered me as a stinking sacrifice.

I'm sure he wasn't in his right mind. He always had a reason for everything.

> > >

To be continued…

Well folks, thanks for reading! Since this is the first chapter, reviews would be great so I know if I'm heading in the right direction or not. Next chapter coming real soon. In fact, it's written. I just have some editing to do.


	2. The Mission

Three Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, or any other Final Fantasy, in any way shape or form. I'm making no money off of this, I am doing it for just my own entertainment and hopefully for the entertainment of those who deign to read my story.

A/N: Not much to say….here's the second chapter, enjoy!

Chapter 2: The Mission

> > >

Oh Hyne, she's gorgeous. I was staring out Rinoa's bedroom window when she came out of the bathroom. But she does have this strange look on her face, and I wonder what she's thinking about. It doesn't last long, so I don't think about it much.

I was never too set on this commander job. Why would I want to have the safety of Balamb Garden on my hands? What if I made a fatal mistake? Everything would rest on my shoulders. I didn't want all the burden and trouble that came with it. It didn't make sense then, it only makes a little more sense now.

Back then…it was complicated, wasn't it? Cid needed someone, and I was somehow smack in the middle of the sorceress business. Of course I was. Matron was a sorceress… I was supposed to aid Rinoa and her rebellion and take whatever orders came my way. And of course, Rinoa actually became a sorceress.

I still don't know why I was chosen. I had just become a SeeD, and I was probably not the most qualified person around. If Seifer were still at Garden, he would have wet himself at the news. I smile a little at the thought.

I'm hanging onto this job now because of Rinoa.

She needs a place where she can be protected and a place she can stay.

So some of the students are less than friendly…they don't matter. Most of them will never be a SeeD anyway. There's also another reason.

It's stupid.

I can't believe I'm actually thinking this.

Get a grip, _Commander._

But here it is…if I want to stay with Rinoa forever, like we promised on the balcony, then I have to earn a living, don't I? So I can support us. I could always just revert to being a SeeD, but this way, I'm always at Balamb with her.

I squeeze her hand, and she turns to look at me. Her familiar face looks up at mine and I feel this rush.

"Rinoa, do you remember the balcony?"

> > >

That happened two weeks ago. Balamb Garden was throwing a huge party, and we could hear the laughing and chattering from inside the ballroom. Selphie was running around with a video camera, and I didn't want this to be caught on tape. Anyway, Zell was making a spectacle of himself with the hot dogs and Selphie was engrossed by that. Another student nearly fell over Angelo, who was doing laps around the room excitedly. Irvine was ogling some girls far too young for him. What a cradle robber.

Truthfully, I had never been so nervous. Not even when I had my SeeD exam, not when I was floating to Rinoa in space, not even when I got halfway caught in time compression. I mean, _time compression_. I could have caused a paradox or something. But this….was much worse.

"Uh, Rinoa?" I said gruffly. "Let's go get some air on the balcony."

"Okay." She slipped her hand into mine and we walked outside.

My mouth was like cotton. I swallowed hard. "I…"

"Look!" Rinoa let me go and leaned over the railing excitedly, staring up into the sky.

I stood a little apart from her and wondered if I should move closer. I looked up and actually found myself amazed by the stars. Since Rinoa was kind of distracted by the sky, I decided to step closer. She turned to me and smiled, placing her hand on my arm.

Damn it, she noticed.

And damn it, I like her touch.

So we just stared at each other, and she looked at me expectantly.

I knew I had to say something to her now. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Hyne help me, I forgot what I was supposed to say! Damn it, I even practiced in front of the stupid mirror.

I think I'm in the middle of a panic attack. My chest is all fluttery and it's difficult to breath. It's starting to get really hot in this jacket, and I'm sure my face has turned red. Why does this stupid jacket have fur on it? It's not like we live in Trabia!

"Uh….umm….ah…"

Smooth, Squall, smooth. Now you're just stammering like a fool.

"Err…."

Okay, just be silent.

Rinoa's attention is briefly caught by something else as she gave a small gasp and looked up. She took a step back from me and pointed up with a finger, smiling. "Look."

I looked. It was a shooting star, just like the one in the ballroom. And then it hits me, why I took her outside, what I came here to do and say to her. So I step back to her and take her hands.

"Rinoa." I sound too determined. Like I'm on a mission or something. I wince and clear my throat.

"Rinoa…" Much better. Oh Hyne. Oh Hyne. I'm going to do this. I actually am going to do this. "I want to stay with you forever…because I care for you so much."

I don't think she digested this at first. She kept looking at me blankly, until a small smile appeared at her lips, growing larger and larger until her whole face was glowing.

"Oh, Squall." She said softly.

Okay, I know I'm supposed to kiss her now. That what they do in movies, right? But it sounds so nice, hearing my name said like that for the first time in my life, especially from her voice. I break out into a huge smile too. It feels weird. I probably look weird. I didn't practice this in front of the mirror.

So now I wrap my arms around her, and her arms are coming up around my neck, and I place my lips on hers. They were so soft, and the pressure was so inviting. It was much easier than I thought. I think I should do this more often.

When we broke apart, she hugged me and placed her head on my shoulder. "Squall, you'll be my knight, right?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Forever?"

"Forever. No matter what."

> > >

From the look in her eyes, Rinoa remembered the balcony. Of course she did. Neither of us would ever forget. That made me feel nice. We arrived in the cafeteria, and I joined the line for breakfast with Rinoa. I nodded towards Selphie, who was waving to us from our regular table. Irvine and Zell were also there, but were both too distracted by the pancakes.

Rinoa picked up a carton of milk and set it on her tray next to her plate. "So, what's up with you today?"

I'm still not accustomed to talking so much. I fumbled. "Uh, paperwork. And stuff. I think." I mentally smack myself and follow her to the table. I took a seat next to her. Truth was, I had no idea what I had to do today. I left the office early because the computers were down and, irritatingly enough, I couldn't do anything about it.

"Hey Squall," Zell said, pushing another forkful of pancake into his mouth. "I heard we may have SeeD stuff to do."

Irvine leaned forward and took a sip from his mug. "Yeah, we met Cid on the way here, and he said something about a mission. He said we should ask you."

Rinoa looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. Of course she did. I told her two minutes ago I just had paperwork to do. But honestly, a mission? I can't remember anything about a mission.

I frowned. The papers in the folder Quistis left for me yesterday might have detailed it. I can't remember, because I left work early in frustration. Damn. This won't look very professional of me...wait, there is a way out.

"I will disclose that information as I see fit." I said coolly.

"Oooh, Squall is too high and mighty to tell us things now," Selphie teased.

"Good morning," said a voice from behind Rinoa. I turned my head. It was Quistis. "Squall, have you briefed them yet? Cid just told me we can leave once you have done so."

I stared stonily at Quistis. She wrecked it. She didn't seem to notice, though. "No, I haven't," I said dourly. "Why don't you?"

The corners of her lips twitched, as if she wanted to smile. "Alright, I will."

Rinoa looked up from her breakfast. "Squall, am I to come as well?" she asked.

I know why she asked. She wasn't an official SeeD, but she had fought alongside us and was equal to any of us. I also know that she didn't want to stay in Garden alone, because of all the students who thought wrong about her. "Of course," I said, and my hand instinctively went to hers. I ignored Selphie's wistful sigh as she saw the touch.

"If that's settled, I will begin." Quistis said. I glanced quickly towards her. I couldn't tell if she was displeased by Rinoa coming. She's so uptight on SeeD regulations sometimes. Or maybe it was me touching Rinoa. Maybe she still has feelings for me and is unhappy. I never solved that with her. But it wasn't my problem in the first place.

"This will be a very short and easy mission. As you know, the port at Balamb city has had some trouble with robbers and such, making it difficult for the merchants to conduct business. Later on today, there will be a shipment of some particularly valuable merchandise. All we have to do is protect the merchants and their product until they are done loading. Any questions?" Quistis looked around the table. "Normally, I would not conduct the briefing in the cafeteria, but this isn't really a top secret thing."

"Is that all?" Zell asked incredulously. "Look after a shipment of T-shirts?"

"Sounds like it!" Selphie said excitedly. "At least we get to be by the sea, right?"

Rinoa brightened at Selphie's logic. "Hey, maybe we can spend some time in town after we're done."

I nodded. "Sounds good." I saw Quistis staring at and I sighed impatiently. "Yes?" I said to her, a little too curtly, because she winced slightly.

"May I speak to you in private for a moment?" she asked, and her eyes never left my face.

"Alright," I replied. I turned to Rinoa first. "I'll be back in a moment, Quistis and I have some business to discuss." I stood up and followed Quistis out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. I ignored the giggling Trepies, who were also Rinoa's biggest critics. I'll bet anything they only have something against Rinoa because I'm not with Quistis, not because Rinoa was a sorceress.

Quistis turned around abruptly and faced me. "Rinoa isn't a SeeD."

I knew it. I knew it was coming, and only Quistis, who loved to follow the rules, would have actually brought it up. Even Cid wouldn't have minded. You'd think Quistis was a Garden Faculty, the way she brought up the rules. I shrugged. "So?"

"She shouldn't be on this mission."

"Why not?" I folded my arms across my chest.

"Squall, SeeD only insures members of SeeD. If anything were to happen to one of us, if we ever needed a lawyer or medical treatment, we'd be okay. Rinoa isn't. And you better hope she'll never have a run in with the law, because no matter what happens, she's still the sorceress and the bad guy in everybody else's eyes. Why would you take the risk?"

"First of all, I don't see Dr. Kadowaski sending us bills every time we visit her. And secondly, you didn't seem to mind when Rinoa was fighting with us before." I said, a little too petulantly. I felt like I was a child be scolded, and I didn't like it.

Quistis seemed a little impatient with me. Good. "Dr. Kadowaski is employed by Garden, and her fees are part of tuition. And Rinoa fighting with us before? That was different! We had no choice! She hasn't had the training we've had, she could fall to pieces in the middle of battle!"

"But she hasn't. If she were to lose it in battle, don't you think she would have done it already?" I pointed out, making myself sound politely reasonable. "You'd think fighting Ultemecia would have done her in."

She sighed. "I'm just saying Squall, SeeD can't take any responsibility for her if anything happens. It doesn't matter how much she's helped us, or that she's our friend, she's still not a SeeD."

I finally lost my temper. "Then I'll take responsibility for her!" I half-shouted. I stalked off, and then stopped. "We'll meet at the parking garage in half an hour." I said without looking back to her.

I could feel Quistis' eyes on my back as I left her standing there.

> > >

To be continued…

So there's the second chapter, up as soon as I said it would be! Thank you to everyone who did review, you were all very encouraging, and I would appreciate even more reviews, because it's nice to think people are reading what you have written.

The next chapter is in it's editing phase, expect it up in a day or two!


	3. The Field Trip

Three Memories

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII doesn't belong to me. I make no money of this whatsoever. Therefore, please do not sue me. Thank you.

A/N: I feel like I'm speeding along with this fic…mostly because I've already written several chapters already, then putting it through some heavy revision. I've tried to catch any gaping grammatical errors, but if one or two slips through….don't hold it against me. Not that anyone has...I've just read through chapters one and two and found a couple. Anyway, enjoy!

3: The Field Trip

> > >

I've made my decision, and I'm going to stick by it. I have to. When you think about it, that's what got me into trouble in the first place. There were so many times I could have backed out, but I was just stubborn. But at the same time, I didn't want to be a hypocrite for not following through. How many times have I accused people of being weak and giving up?

I have many things I need to fix, because I have screwed so much up. But it's only one thing I am going back for. It's probably the only thing I regret in my life, and if I don't try to atone for it, it'll be a bone in my throat forever. I don't really give a damn about the rest. Well, that's not exactly true. I wouldn't wish them their deaths anymore, I just don't want to deal with them.

I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I didn't feel the need to go back. It would have been much easier for me, and probably much easier for everyone else. I chuckle at the thought. I was never one to make things easy.

Only for Rinoa. She was different. And she was the one I have wronged the most. That's why I've decided.

> > >

We were taking some field trip to Timber. I don't remember why. Maybe we were just passing through to do some training. Quistis was busy giving out instructions to us. Something about not getting involved with the town politics. I looked towards Squall, who was just standing there, listening to her like some idiot. I sneered at him, and he glared back at me.

I was about to push him further when Quistis glanced sternly at me while she continued to speak. I rolled my eyes.

I was done listening. I was out of there. I nudged Fujin and Raijin. "I'm going, guys. This is boring."

"QUISTIS." Fuijin said, softly but forcefully.

I shrugged. "She's giving a theory lesson on the basics of elemental defense or some other junk like that. I know it already. It'll take all afternoon. Class ends at six, I'll be back before then."

"You'll be in major trouble, ya know?" Raijin said. "Especially because we're not at Garden or anything."

I looked heavenwards. "You think I can't deal with Trepe?"

Fujin looked resigned but muttered something to herself. "CAREFUL," she said finally.

"Yes, mother," I teased. With a swift glance towards Quistis, I slipped away from the class and melted into the crowd of townsfolk.

I wandered around for a bit. This town was small. It didn't look like there was much to do. I almost admitted to myself it would have been more interesting to stay in class. However, I was nearly at the train station, and I saw a magazine stand. I went towards it, figuring I might as well read something good. I saw some dirty magazines, some pet magazine, the usual collection of tabloids and fashion junk. Some train arrived at the station, and the sound that it was making was earsplitting. It must have been some old model engine, the newer ones don't make you go deaf.

"Hey," I shouted to the lady who was running the stand so she could hear me. "Is Weapons Mon May out yet?"

"Here." She passed me the magazine, yelling to make herself heard. "That'll be 1000 Gil."

I handed her the money and took my magazine. I was flipping through it, looking for the gunblade upgrades. They were doing some special feature on nunchakus. Who in their right mind would use nunchakus? Finally, I found the gunblade section. It was awesome. I could change the handle and refine the blade. My attack power would increase like crazy. That'll show Squall. I was just wondering if I could have afforded the upgrade when I collided into someone.

"Watch where you're going," I said automatically. I looked at the heap on the floor. It was some guy clutching his stomach. Pathetic.

"Owww, my stomach," he moaned.

"Come on, get up," I said impatiently. "I'm not on the floor because you walked into me." I had half a mind to leave him there.

"Zone, what's going on?"

That was the very first time I saw Rinoa. She was running towards her friend and pulled up him to his feet.

"He ran into me," Zone said to her.

I remember I couldn't find anything to say to her. Which was strange, when I think about it. It's not like she was drop dead gorgeous. She was pretty enough, but that wasn't it. It might have been the way her dark eyes were so…open, I guess. Like she knew me already and didn't have to guard herself. It made me uncomfortable. It made me feel like I owed something to her.

"I didn't see him," I said finally, lifting my magazine to show her.

"Well, it was just an accident." She said, smiling sideways at me. "Get back on the train, Zone, or you'll be late."

"Of course," he said, and scurried away.

"You can fight?" she asked, with her eyes on my magazine.

"Yep," I said. I liked where this was going. If we were going to talk about anything, my fighting was probably the best direction to take. "I'm training to be a SeeD gunblade expert." I didn't actually have Hyperion with me. I left it at the inn. We were forbidden to take our weapons out onto the street by Quistis, because of whatever politics she was talking about. "I'm Seifer." I extended my hand to her.

She hesitated for a moment. I don't know why. "Rinoa," she said, and took my hand. She smiled when we touched.

"Do you live here in Timber?" I asked.

She laughed. "No, I'm just visiting. I'm Galbadian." She whispered the last part, as if she didn't want to be heard. "Where are you from?"

"Balamb," I said. I furrowed my brow, thinking. Rinoa didn't want it to be known she was Galbadian, and Quistis mentioned some political junk. I glanced at a passing soldier. He was in Galbadian colours. "What, this town has a problem with Galbadia?" I said without thinking.

"Shh!" Rinoa said, slapping her hand over my mouth. Her eyes were wide. She checked to see if the soldier heard. "Come with me." She grabbed me by the wrist and began to pull me towards an empty alleyway.

"Rinoa, this relationship is going way too fast, I don't think I'm ready to go there and do stuff yet," I joked.

"Are you insane?" She demanded, looking up at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, nonplussed. "My instructor kept mentioning politics and resistance and things like that."

Rinoa stared at me. "And did you listen?"

"Not…really," I admitted.

"Listen closely," she said, leaning towards me and speaking softly. I could feel her breath on my ear. "It's really simple, actually. Timber used to be a beautiful town. Huge forests and everything. Then Galbadia invaded Timber, chopped down the forests, and is trying to make Timber a part of them. This is all Vinzer Deling's fault, of course. The resistance factions are trying to take Timber back for themselves."

"I guess they haven't been so successful yet," I said, baiting her. I had my suspicions about her, and I wanted to see if they were true. The truth was, I liked her a lot. She wasn't like the other girls I knew, who were always giggling and trying to get me to date them.

"We've been trying!" Rinoa said hotly, and then clapped her hand over her mouth quickly. She looked furious with herself, and quickly checked the alleyway for other people.

I took her hand from her mouth. "Hey princess, I won't tell anyone. You can trust me."

She flushed pink. "Really?"

"Of course. I'm going to be a SeeD. I'll even help you train, if you like." I said. I don't know why I said it. We were only going to be in Timber for another few days. But Balamb wasn't really far from Galbadia, and I got weekends off from Garden. Summer vacation was coming up next month, too. I wanted to see her again, and I said so. She stirred something in me. I didn't have to condescend or act all cool with her. I wanted to make her smile.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" I asked.

"Alright," she said agreeably. "The inn has some good food."

Damn it, the inn! I checked the town's clock. I was late. I didn't realize how much time I spent out. I turned towards her apologetically. "I'm so sorry," I said. I meant it, too. That was probably another milestone in my life, the first time I was sincere about an apology. "I'm late, I have to get back to my class."

"That's okay. Do you have class tomorrow?" She asked.

I did have class tomorrow. Basics of elemental attack, and then we were going out into the field to put the theory classes in practice. Boring stuff. I decided to be honest with her. "Yes," I said. I felt better when I saw her disappointment. That meant she wanted to see me. "But I can get out of it. They're doing things I know already. Besides, I can help you out with it." I put on a stern face, imitating Quistis. "Elemental attack and defense is a very important lesson. It makes all the difference in the world when you are fighting elemental creatures."

Rinoa looked a little doubtful at first, as if she didn't want me to miss my classes.

"Come on princess, I'll be alright. I promise. Come to the inn tomorrow at eight. That's my room up there." I pointed to the window. "I'll be looking out for you."

Her face brightened and she smiled. Unexpectedly, she threw her arms around me and gave me a hug. "You're the best, Seifer," she said.

When she said it, I could believe it.

> > >

Fujin and Raijin think I'm insane. They won't follow me this time. I've accepted that. In fact, I expected their disapproval. It's probably better I do this alone, anyway. Fujin said it was too soon. I figured the sooner I did this, the better. Then I can get on with everything. Raijin had rolled his eyes in disgust. Oh well. So much for my beloved posse.

I wish I could go back to that summer with Rinoa. Things were so uncomplicated. I taught her how to fight like a SeeD, teaching her all the things I learned. She absolutely refused to learn the gunblade from me, though. She opted for some sort of pinwheel thing off her arm. She said it looked less offensive and scary.

She did try the Hyperion once and managed to pull off some decent attacks. I felt…proud, probably for the first time in my life. Proud of someone else, instead of just myself. It was a selfless feeling, and very unnerving for me.

I don't know if I could have actually called her my girlfriend. We liked each other. A lot. And we made that known early on. As the summer went on, we trained less and less and did more and more fun things together. I once 'borrowed' a Garden car and we just went driving all over the place. That day ended up in…well, Rinoa wouldn't be very pleased if I said. I even helped her out with some Forest Owls mission during that summer, rescuing Zone's ass more than once. I felt this strange kind of fierce passion I never felt before when we talked about fighting and liberation.

I didn't know that the end of the summer meant the end of us. If I knew, I would have never let it end. And now, I wish I could have called her mine.

> > >

To be continued…

Thanks to the lovely people who reviewed, I love you all. There were a couple interesting ones I wanted to reply to, so here they are:

Stardust Ray: Eek, I wanted Quistis to come off as uptight…so I guess annoying can work. To let people know, I'm not into anyone-bashing…this isn't were it is headed, I just figured Quistis would come off that way in real life.

Bimp Lizkit: I know I've said I've already finished several chapters, but I haven't gotten far enough to actually determine where this is going. I'm quite fond of Rinoa and Seifer myself…it's driving me nuts, how I should end it.

Houki: Aaaaah, you found me! No, really, I'm really grateful for how you read everything I write. You shall be my new best friend.

Anyway, next chapter…well, I can't promise two days. I have massive parties coming up, one for a friend, the other for myself, and all of next week I'm working crazy super shifts at the mall. Let's see, I shall have the chapter by Tuesday, latest. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	4. The Return

Three Memories

Disclaimer: I own Final Fantasy VIII in no way, or any other Final Fantasy, for that matter. I'm making no money off this, it is just for entertainment, so back off with the lawsuits.

A/N: Not much to say up here, just that this chapter was up as I promised, even though I was piss drunk from the parties.

4: The Return

> > >

Squall and I had just finished our four-hour shift guarding the docks. Selphie and Irvine had just taken over, and Quistis and Zell were next. I'm glad there hasn't been any incidents yet. I know that I shouldn't, and it's completely unwarranted, but I sometimes feel like an imposter SeeD.

I'm not a SeeD. Seifer taught me how to fight like one, and I'm on a SeeD mission, but that still doesn't make me a SeeD. And it bothers me. Squall said I could probably just do the SeeD exam and be made one officially, but it doesn't seem fair. Other students have to go through years and years of training before being allowed to do the test. I, on the other hand, just had some informal training and the approval of the commander.

I probably should get a job at Garden soon. I can't just continue to live there on the goodwill of Cid and Squall. I know they both don't mind, but I do. I can't be an instructor, anything secretarial is dull, and the sterile smell of the infirmary makes me queasy. There isn't much for me to do. I suppose I can be a cafeteria worker. Making hot dogs. Feeding the students who are so afraid of me.

The thought is so depressing I sighed out loud. Squall turned to look at me questioningly. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, glumly watching Irvine tip his hat to a merchant. "What am I going to do, Squall? I can't just live at Garden for free, doing nothing."

"Are you unhappy?" He asked.

"No," I said firmly. That I knew. I had friends there, and Squall. I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I just need something to do during the day, when everyone is at work."

"We'll think up of something for you." Squall sounded so firm and certain of it, I immediately felt better.

"Do you thin – " I was cut off my something whizzing past my ear. It struck one of the crates. The merchants began to shout. Squall jumped up and dragged me with him.

"We're under attack!" He shouted. I saw fierce determination grow in his eyes. This is why I lov– Stop it, Rinoa, this is no time to think about that. "Selphie, Irvine! Make sure they don't get anywhere near the ships!"

"Quistis, Zell, come with me, we're going to fight them off." Squall called to them. The immediately came. He looked down at me with troubled eyes. "I don't want you to get hurt." He said.

I smiled. There was no reason why I should not fight. "I'll be fine, let me come with you."

He searched my eyes quickly. "Okay. Stay towards the back, since you have a projectile weapon, anyway."

I nodded, agreeing to his compromise. Quickly, I followed them to where the attackers were. I scanned them, there seemed to maybe ten or twelve. They were all masked. It wasn't so bad. I felt another bullet whiz by me, and I let my pinwheel fly towards my attacker, knocking him out.

Squall was running towards the biggest guy with his gunblade raised. I felt a momentary flash of fear when the enemy raised his gun to point it at Squall, who knocked it aside easily. I set off the pinwheel again to one of the thugs that was sneaking up behind Zell.

I felt a strange sensation come over me. I looked down at myself, and I was glowing. I knew this, I had felt it before. I was losing control over my magic. I didn't want this to happen. It was like the first step of giving in to the sorceress in me. I couldn't help it. It was coming even though I had purposely avoided using magic.

My vision blurred, and I saw Squall trigger. Quistis had tripped another thug with her whip. Squall was fighting two men at once.

"Squall," I tried calling him. There was no use. My hands had started to glow red. I clenched them into fists, trying to keep the magic inside of me. I desperately tried to hold on to it, hoping Squall would come and help me. I didn't even know how or if he could help. I just needed him beside me, now.

But Squall was fighting and could not see me. I started to ache terribly and I knew it would only increase if I tried to hold the Firaga in me. Then, several things happened at once.

Something exploded behind me. I was stunned, and let my hold on the magic down. The men in front of me caught fire. Squall turned to look at me in alarm. The enemy in front of him swiped at his back. I saw Squall's blood fly. He looked shocked. I was angry. My next round of magic was directed towards that man. The thunder hit him and he dropped. My vision was going fuzzy. I saw Selphie's yellow dress and Irvine's hat running towards us.

Then it all went black, and I felt my body hit the paved ground.

> > >

When I woke up, I was in the infirmary, and Dr. Kadowaski was leaning over me. She saw me staring up at her. "You had quite a nasty fall, there." She commented mildly. Not a mention of the sorceress slip up I had. I was grateful for that. If it got somehow leaked in Garden, things would have been even harder for me.

Then I suddenly remembered Squall and how he was hurt. "Squall!" I said urgently. "Where is he? Is he okay?"

Dr. Kadowaski nodded. "He's fine. He came back with a nasty cut on his back and needed some stitches. He wouldn't leave your side and trailed blood all over the infirmary. I sorted him out, so don't you worry. He's still knocked out, though. You can see him when he wakes up."

The door slide open. Quistis came in. She looked concerned. "Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "What happened?"

"The thieves had planted some bombs earlier, and set them off with the remote while we were fighting. I think that's what stunned you. The merchants got out fine, and once they did, Selphie and Irvine came to us to finish them off."

"Oh," I said. Sill no mention of anything to do with my being a sorceress. "Thank you."

Quistis smiled at me. "I'm glad you're better now. I have to run, though, my class is starting in ten minutes. I'll check in with Squall later." She nodded towards Dr. Kadowaski and left.

I stood up. "Am I okay to go now?" I was still wearing the same clothes I went out in. I needed a bath.

"Yes, you're fine. You were exhausted and just needed some rest." She said absently, thumbing through some files. "I'll call you when Squall is up."

"I'll probably be back before then," I said with a wry grin. "Thanks for everything."

I left and began heading towards my room. The hallways were blessedly empty, as classes had begun for the morning. I trudged up the dormitory hallway and stopped in shock as I saw a figure leaning against my doorpost.

I didn't know what to say. I searched for words, but I couldn't seem to find any appropriate ones. "Seifer?" I said incredulously. Of all people I thought I'd never see again… why was he back now? How did he even get back into Garden without being mauled? I glanced around. We were alone. This was bad. And there was a bad part of me that was very, very happy to see him.

"Hey princess." He met my eyes. I just dreamed about those green eyes two nights before. I couldn't believe that I was actually staring into them now. The sensible part of myself made me start to back away from him. What if he was here to try something? He nearly killed me without regret! His expression changed from languid to…a strange sort of disappointment. Or was it sadness? In any case, it made me stop.

"How did you find my room?" I said finally. I should have asked other questions first. Like how did he get here. Why was he here. What I asked seemed wrong. It was too intimate, as if it were fine for him to be visiting me.

Seifer pointed at Angelo, who was sitting on my doorstep, wagging her tail at him happily. Of course. I had let her out. I heard voices from the far end of the dormitory hall. Probably students who forgot something. If they saw Seifer…

He didn't appear to be alarmed. But this was bad. The sorceress with the guy who tried to invade Garden? Very bad. I lunged for the door and unlocked it, shoving him in as quickly as I could. I slammed the door behind me.

Touching him, no matter how it happened, made me breathless. I went to stand at the opposite end of the room and stared at him again. This didn't seem real. Seifer…Seifer who practically tried to kill me…Seifer whom I used to kiss…was standing in front of me. In my room. Alone with me. I had problems trying to accept the facts.

He took a step towards me. I backed up. Seifer looked resigned to the fact I still thought him to be my enemy.

"Why…" I couldn't form a coherent question. I was still in shock.

"I needed to see you." He finally said.

"Last time you saw me, I was your live offering." I pointed out. I was slowly recovering my wits. Thank Hyne Squall was unconscious in the infirmary.

Seifer winced slightly at that. "That's why I'm here." He took a step forward. I didn't back away. I sensed that he had changed somehow. When he saw I didn't move away, he came towards me and stood right in front of me. He was too close to me…

"I needed to see you," he repeated. "I had to say I'm sorry. I couldn't leave things the way they were."

"You should have," I said, swallowing hard. All my memories of Seifer were coming back, full blown, and his betrayal of me stung like a fresh wound.

"I couldn't have. It would have eaten me alive. I needed to make an apology. What I did was completely wrong. I betrayed you…I put my ambitions before your life." Seifer's eyes held genuine pain. "And I'm sorry."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I fought to keep them back.

"What I did was even worse, because I loved you." He continued, ignoring my whimper at that pronouncement. "I loved you, and I did it anyway. I couldn't see it. I don't know if you can even forgive me."

He loved me? That one summer…he loved me? I didn't fail to notice it was in past tense. "What about now?" I managed to say. Again, this was the wrong thing to say. I should have forgiven him, made him feel better, and sent him on his way. Some small part of me, the Rinoa who was so fond and happy with Seifer, had to know.

"Rinoa…" he said. My name in his voice made me shiver. He had a small smile on his lips. "You know I can't say anymore."

The tears I had held back broke free. "Oh, Seifer," Without quite realizing what I was doing, I leaned forward into his chest and started to cry. I felt his familiar arms encircle my back.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said. His voice was muffled by my hair. We stood there for a moment in silence. I breathed in his familiar sent and looked up at him.

"It's alright. I'll never understand why you did it…and I think the thought of it will always hurt me…but it's alright now." I said quietly. The pain in his eyes seemed to ease off, and I was glad. For a moment, I was afraid he was going to kiss me. I was afraid because I would have kissed him back.

The phone on my desk rang, saving me. Seifer dropped his arms from me reluctantly and I went to pick it up.

"Rinoa?" It was Dr. Kadowaski on the phone. "I know you probably just got back to your room, but Squall just woke up and he's asking for you."

"Oh," I said numbly. "I'll be right there. Thank you." I hung up and turned back towards Seifer. "It's Squall," I said. "I have to go to him."

"Shall I come with you?" he offered.

I shook my head slowly. "I think the shock would kill him," I said dryly. "What are you going to do?" My words implied the facts. He couldn't very well hang around Garden.

Seifer shrugged. "I don't know yet. I don't know if I should see everyone else. I only came here for you. I do know…that if it ever were possible, I'd like to live here again. I've spent so much time here, almost all of my life, that it's the only place I can call home. And I've alienated it."

His words sent a little rush through me. "Lay low, then." I said, realizing that I was half giving him permission to stay. "If Squall sees you…"

Seifer crossed the room towards her. "I might need to see him," he said, and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I did not expect it, so I just nodded and left my room, leaving him in it.

I just hope that it won't cause too many problems. Wishful thinking, because it was Seifer.

> > >

To be continued….

Soooooo, that was another chapter down, another one to come extremely soon, perhaps in a couple of days. Again, thanks to my reviewers, who have all been nothing short of awesome.

One more thing. Since I was having a bit of trouble figuring out if Rinoa should stay with Squall or go with Seifer, I thought I'd ask your opinion. This doesn't necessarily mean I'll take the majority opinion, I just would like to see where people stand. You know, to get the creative juice flowing.


	5. The Nightmare

Three Memories

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII is not mine, and will never be mine. I make no money off of this. I am a poor poor university student. So back off, sue someone who has money.

Enjoy!

5: The Nightmare

> > >

I felt like I had been run over by a truck. My back ached and stung at the same times, although Dr. Kadowaski assured me she gave me enough painkillers. A higher dosage, she had said, would make me dozy. She went off to check my charts, though, to see when my last doping up was.

I was so happy to see Rinoa walk through those doors. She looked pale and her eyes were rimmed red. I felt guilty for not being able to help her during the fight.

"Hey Squall," she said, coming to sit down next to me. "How do you feel?"

"Much better now," I replied. It was true. I was always comforted by her presence. She gave me a distracted kiss.

"I know I should have been there for you," I said quietly.

She shook her head. "No, you had your hands full. I could see it. And I came out okay, just tired." She slipped her hand into mind. "Really. I'm fine, you don't have to be concerned. I'll be much better after I get some sleep."

No matter what she said, I still felt horrible. What was the point of having a knight if I wasn't there? I wanted to press the point, but Rinoa looked so resolute I decided to let it go. I knew what it was like. I would just keep quiet until she brought it up again.

"Okay." I said. "Dr. Kadowaski won't let me leave until tomorrow. "

Rinoa looked relieved at the statement. I couldn't imagine why, but she must have realized her expression, because she said, "I don't think you're ready to leave right now, anyway. You look pretty banged up." She laid her head on my bed and shut her eyes, exhaling.

This action was so unlike her. "Rinoa?" I was worried.

She looked up at me, her dark eyes inscrutable. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired."

I patted her hand. "Go back to your room and sleep then, you really need it."

Rinoa shook her head. "But I came to visit you, Squall. I don't just want to leave you here alone."

"Dr. Kadowaski is coming around to give me my next dose of painkillers anyway. It'll just knock me out again, and I won't be very interesting then."

She gave me a small smile. "Thanks Squall. I'll have Dr. Kadowaski call me again when you wake up." She kissed me and left.

Sure enough, Dr. Kadowaski came around with a needle soon after Rinoa went back to her room. "I know you've been complaining that you don't have enough painkillers…silly me, I forgot that they would have been wearing off by now…there."

"Thanks," I mumbled to her, and I drifted off into sleep.

> > >

"Squall!"

I heard Rinoa's voice, urgent and panicked. "Rinoa?" I opened my eyes and looked around. Seifer was holding on to Rinoa and dragging her into the next room. What was going on?

Quistis was here. Her lips were moving. She was saying something to me. I couldn't hear her. I had to go after Rinoa. This was chillingly familiar, as if I had already lived this…I needed to get Rinoa now.

I ran in after them. Seifer was still clutching Rinoa, who was deathly pale. He was swinging his Hyperion around.

"Seifer! Stop it! Haven't you done enough? I know you're not like that!" Rinoa half-twisted in Seifer's arms to look directly at him. What did she mean? I know you're not like that…how did Rinoa know what he was like…could it be the summer before? I didn't like it. It just reminded me of how they had been together.

He hesitated for a moment, and silently looked into Rinoa's eyes. I became angrier. Then his faced hardened, and Rinoa's face fell when she saw it. "Can't go back now! I can't go anywhere! The sorceresses as one! That is Ultimecia's WISH!"

This tugged hard on my memory. I still couldn't understand what was happening. This happened already. I already lived this. Once was enough. Why was it back again? Ellone wouldn't…she was in Esthar with Laguna…

Rinoa's eyes turned a liquid black, and I could see tears shining in them. "….Seifer…." Her voice was full of regret. Did she regret Seifer? Or did she regret the way he turned out? "Seifer….no more….please?"

Seifer's resolve seemed to waver again. I guessed it was out of his old feelings for her. He looked at her for a moment, tenderly, trying to decide.

I found my voice. "Seifer! No!" I shouted.

My voice seemed to push him over the edge. His eyes became wild, and he twisted Rinoa's arm behind her back so viscously she cried out. "Rinoa and Adel! The sorceresses as one! Watch closely, Squall." Seifer shoved Rinoa forward, towards Adel, who still was held in place in her prison. Why hadn't I seen it?

It didn't matter. I was screaming, because I remember what happened. I couldn't stop. Rinoa tripped from the force of Seifer's push, and she fell hard right in front of Adel. Adel's bonds began to snap, one by one, then faster and faster until I knew, with a horrified certainty, that she was free.

I wanted to tell Rinoa to run away, but I was still screaming wordlessly in horror, terrified for her. She was frozen with fear, staring up at Adel as if she couldn't tear her eyes away. The sorceress smiled in victory, raised her hand, and lunged for Rinoa.

Then Rinoa was screaming, and it mixed with my own voice, and somewhere, in the back of my mind, I heard Seifer's voice whispering Rinoa's name.

> > >

When I woke up, I was sweating and tangled in the blankets. I had to take several deep breathes to calm my racing heart. Why did I dream that all of a sudden?

The pain in my back had receded to a dull ache. Odd. Where was Dr. Kadowaski? She'd normally be here the moment a patient woke up. I shrugged it off and dressed myself. I left my room and looked around the infirmary office. She wasn't there. Maybe she went to get some food.

Then I noticed an absence of nurses. There was always someone where, even if Dr. Kadowaski was not. I was becoming confused, and I spotted the phone on the receptionist's desk. I picked it up to dialed Rinoa's room number when the door slid open.

"Dr. Kadowaski," I began, half turning around. It wasn't her.

I froze. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I dropped the receiver, and I could faintly hear Rinoa's voice saying hello.

It was Seifer. I flexed my right hand, where my gunblade would normally be held, wishing it was here so I could blow his head off. He just stood there impartially, watching me, with his hands in his coat pockets.

"Why the hell are you here?" I asked in a low voice. I was having trouble containing my anger. After all the things he did, how could Seifer have the nerve to come back to Garden. "What did you do with Dr. Kadowaski?"

"I'm here just to visit," he replied casually. "And I didn't do anything to the doctor. Apparently, some kids have caught a bad bought of food poisoning in the cafeteria. I saw all of them rushing there."

"Who would want to see your obnoxious face around here?" I shot back, clenching my fists.

Seifer shrugged. And then it hit me. The only person he would see was Rinoa. The only person who would accept his presence was Rinoa. Because they knew each other before this SeeD business. Because she was not a SeeD. Because she was not at the orphanage. Because they had something with each other in the past.

"You stay away from her," I said, and even to myself, I sounded dangerous. My voice had this quality to it that said I would not hesitate to kill Seifer if it actually came to it. "You actually had the nerve to come back here. You're a bastard."

Seifer spread out his arms, ignoring my comment about Rinoa. "Garden didn't put a price on my head. There was nothing to say I was permanently exiled. You guys just let it go, assuming I wouldn't come back."

"It was Cid's decision to let you go out of goodwill and respect to your long stay at Garden." I said. "If it were me…"

"If it were you, I don't think Rinoa would have let you do anything." Seifer interrupted, almost cockily.

"Don't bring Rinoa into this," I hissed. "You nearly killed her. Did you take that into account?"

"She has forgiven me."

"How?" I snapped.

"I've already seen her. I've talked to her, and she's forgiven me."

The thought of Rinoa forgiving this…piece of filth, this low-down, betraying scum for all the wrongs he did her made me lose my hold on my anger. Forgetting my injuries, I barreled towards Seifer and punched him hard across the jaw. The impact knocked him off his feet, and I began to hit him, again and again and again, as hard as I could.

Seifer's fist came up and collided with my face, and I was temporarily stunned. He managed to get to his feet, and I ran towards him again, with a growl. We knocked over the receptionist's desk as we wrestled. I managed to grab Seifer by the throat with my left hand, and I clenched it as hard as I could. I want to hurt him as much as could, for all the trouble and pain he's caused Rinoa. A selfish part of me just wanted to hurt him because he was always there, always my rival, always trying to bother me.

I don't remember the door sliding open.

"Hyne!" I heard Rinoa's disbelieving voice. "Squall, stop it! Seifer!"

I felt her hands, tugging at me, trying to pull me away from Seifer, who was attacking me just as much as I was attacking him. So why wasn't she trying to stop him, instead? I brushed her off with a shout of frustration.

"Squall…" I heard her moan my name in despair. "Seifer, Seifer…please…stop this…" she was pulling at him now, pleading with him, instead of me. Seeing Rinoa touch Seifer was a shock, I suppose, and a large enough one that I came to my senses.

"Get away from him," I said to her immediately. "He can't be trusted."

She hesitated for a moment, torn. Then she came to me and helped me stand up, guiding me to stand farther away from Seifer. Seifer's eyes never left her. For a moment, Rinoa looked back at him calmly and met his gaze.

That incensed me even more. "Rinoa," I growled. "I can't understand why you chose to forgive the piece of shit standing in front of us."

I became afraid when she turned to look at me. She no longer regarded me with pure trust and affection. It was mingled with…fear? Disappointment? Disillusionment? I couldn't be sure, and it frightened me. I reached for her hand, for reassurance, but she kept her own hands tightly clamped at her sides. In fact, she took two paces away from me, standing directly between Seifer and myself.

"Squall," she said softly. "I forgave Seifer because I had to, and because I wanted to. I can't have him live with it hanging over his head forever."

"He shouldn't have come back." I said adamantly. "He's a traitor, any way you look at it."

"Maybe," Rinoa said. "But everyone deserves a chance to make up for the things they've done."

I stared at her. Rinoa's out of her mind. What was she playing at? "I want him out of Garden. I am the Commander, and I want him out. You've already let him apologize to you, now I want him out. I'll have him arrested otherwise."

"Don't, Squall…" Her eyes were pleading me.

"Why?" I roared suddenly. "Why should I let him stay? I can't trust him; nobody can. Rinoa, he didn't give half a damn about you in front of Adel, so why the hell are you defending him now? Are you still in love with him? Do you want to go with him? Do you care so much for Seifer that you'd leave Garden?"

Rinoa was trembling, and her eyes were wet with unshed tears. I suddenly felt ashamed for my outburst, and she could see it.

Seifer spoke up. "Don't worry about it. I was going to leave anyhow. I saw Rinoa, and I've done what I've came to." He moved to Rinoa, and before I could say anything, gave her a hug. I had to look away. I would have killed him if I didn't. "Bye princess, I'll miss you," I heard him whisper to her. He let go of her, ignored me, and left. Rinoa stared after him, clenching her fists.

I didn't say anything to her. How could I? I picked up the phone and hung it up. I picked it up again and dialed for Irvine. When he answered, I began to speak immediately. "Irvine, this is Squall. Seifer is in Garden…it doesn't matter why. I've told him to leave, and he's on his way out. He's just left the infirmary. I just want you to make sure he actually leaves. I don't care where he goes, as long as he's not on Garden property." I hung up.

Rinoa and I simply looked at each other in silence. Something was broken between us. It must have been my behavior. I had shoved her, I had shouted at her when I had promised to always keep her safe and happy.

"I can't believe you, Squall." She said finally. Her fists were still clenched tightly.

"Rinoa…"

"I…I need time by myself. I want to fix this…I don't want us to be like this…but I need some time, Squall."

I felt numb. If I lost Rinoa, I would not have anything. And I would have lost her because of one stupid fight with an old rival. I didn't have to prove anything to him. I had passed the SeeD exam, he failed. He was an exile now. I am commander of Balamb Garden. He let go of Rinoa. I had her…or I still hoped I had her…but I couldn't do anything about that. I nodded.

I just hoped I didn't screw everything up. That's reserved for Seifer.

> > >

To be continued…

A/N: So. Although I haven't received terrible amounts feedback on the Squall/Seifer thing, I have come to a decision, mostly thanks to my reviewer man from "Uncle". I suspect you are correct about what you've said, but I felt like I had to indulge the romantic side of myself. Anyway, no worries for anyone, I have figured something out.

Stardust Ray: My hangover almost non-existent. My friends were kind enough to make me drink what felt like barrels of water. Also, I'm a very cheap drunk. I was tipsy and giggling madly after my first drink, the second saw that I couldn't walk correctly, and the third and fourth I barely remember. Anyway, thanks for all the encouraging words, I appreciate it.

Now, I shall be away camping for the later part of next week for about 5 days, and I hereby promise there will be an update by then. Give me a few days, say five or six, maybe less if I'm awesome.


	6. The Beach

Three Memories

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII does not belong to me. I make no profit or money off of this. Thank you, have a nice day.

Enjoy!

6: The Beach

> > >

I was waiting outside the main gate of Garden. I ached all over from the fight, but I wouldn't have let anyone known that. So I kept standing tall, leaning back into the wall slightly, looking out for people.

Truthfully, that was a pretty stupid thing to do. I knew Rinoa left for the infirmary, and I didn't know how long she was going to take. But when she left, I felt…alone. I needed to go after her to the infirmary. I trusted that Dr. Kadowaski would be discreet enough to tell Rinoa without letting Squall know what was going on, but I didn't expect Squall to be up using the phone.

I didn't see Rinoa either. Since she told me to lay low, I took a back passage to the infirmary, instead of the main hallway, so I must have missed her. She was probably getting food or something, I don't know. It doesn't matter, anyway. Squall saw me and freaked out. So much for laying low. I'll bet all of Garden knows about my presence by now.

On the other hand, a part of me felt like I had to see Squall. I would never admit this out loud. I've done so many things to him over the years I thought that I should apologize to him as well. If I'm going to do something, like apologize, I might as well do it properly, right? Anyway, Rinoa would have wanted it. That was what mattered the most to me.

But when I got there, Squall was so arrogant. So full of himself. So…like me, I guess. I didn't like it. I couldn't do it. All I wanted to do was punch his face in. I ran my fingers over my scar, feeling the familiar raised surface of it. I didn't have this when I met Rinoa. Squall did.

I didn't know why I was comparing myself to Squall again. I always have, and I always relished the fact I was ahead of him. I had to bar my mind from making further comparisons, because in the back of my mind, I knew he was ahead in everything now.

It wasn't always this way.

> > >

I loved living by the sea as a kid. It didn't matter to me that I was an orphan. I don't think I quite understood what an orphan was, it was just a term used to describe what we all were, living with Matron. For all I knew, the crabs and starfish I saw on the beach were orphans too, as well as the trees and the flowers that surrounded the house.

I relished my half savage lifestyle there. Out of all of them, I was the most daring, the most ambitious, the one least afraid of getting rapped on the knuckles by Matron. Naturally, I became the leader in the naughty things we did. Chickenwuss … Zell, I suppose, was always crying and threatening to tell on us. I guess that's where the name came from.

Irvine and Selphie weren't half bad. Most of the time, they egged me on and just wanted to have fun. Once, Selphie and I got Irvine stuck up in a tree and refused to help him down until he panicked and started screaming. We were set to a dozen chores as a punishment, but she and I couldn't help laughing every time we saw Irvine after that. She eventually got around to apologizing to him and making nice, but I don't think I ever did. Again, it wasn't in my nature.

Quistis was a real old preacher, same way she is now. Once in a while, she'd let down her high and mighty demeanor and fling wet sand with us on the beach, but she was always trailing either Squall or I. She mothered him and lectured me. I was so sick of it once I threw mud at her face. I scrubbed the floor for days after that incident, and Quistis didn't speak to me for a month. I saw it as an added bonus.

I knew two Squalls. One was when Ellone was still around the orphanage. Squall was easier to get along with most of the time, and actually played with us. I don't think I made life so difficult for him back then. I discovered the other Squall after Ellone was gone. He became a loner. At first, I figured it was because he missed her. But months passed, and he still wasn't joining our games. I angry that we couldn't play games that needed an even amount of people. I thought he was being flat-out selfish. That's where our competition began.

We tried to see who got more of Matron's time, because we thought the more time she spent with us, the more she loved us. I shoved Squall out of the head seat at the table and sat there myself next to Matron, ignoring his glowering throughout the meal. At breakfast, I always chose the mug of milk that wasn't chipped, and Squall had to take it instead. I guess the little cruel things like this built up over the years, and continued even at Garden.

I remember one incident. Matron was calling us in for dinner, and the rest of them were already running back to the house. I was swimming in the shallows, and Squall was crouched a little ways off, tracing patterns into the sand with a stick. He stood up, watching Selphie jump onto Irvine's back and him stagger under her weight.

"Come on, Seifer." He said to me. "We have to go back."

I don't know why, but I particularly felt like pushing him that day. "No," I said lazily. "I think I want to swim for longer."

"But Matron is calling us," Squall said stubbornly. "We have to go back."

I made a face at him. "You're a baby, Squall. Ba-by. Always running to Matron and trying to hog her. Ba-by." I knew this was half untrue in the back of my mind, but I didn't let that stop me.

Squall stamped his foot and pointed the stick towards me. "That's not true!"

I ignored him and started splashing water around me to annoy him more. "Baaaa-by. Baby Squall, always trying to get Matron for himself."

"Stop that!" He shouted. Squall threw done the stick and began wading towards me. I swam out further away from shore. Squall's eyes widened. "We're not allowed to swim out that far."

"Ba-by Squall can't swim!" I taunted. I heard Quistis calling us faintly from the house. I ignored it. "Can't swim! Can't swim!"

Squall clenched his fists. "Can too swim." He said gruffly, and kicked off the sand towards me.

I stuck out my tongue. "Bet you I can swim longer."

Squall didn't say anything, and just continued to tread water with me. Oh-ho, I thought. He's challenging me. What he didn't know, what no one at the orphanage knew, was that I liked to sneak out in the mornings to swim by myself. It was probably dangerous, but then again, I never cared so much about danger.

Some time passed, and I was still stroking the water, relaxed. I tilted my head back to see the sun setting. Squall's face was almost as red as it was, and he was breathing hard, almost gasping for air.

I looked back at him. "Had enough, Squall?" I asked, leering at him. "Tired? Want to stop?"

He shook his head stubbornly, spraying me with little water droplets from his hair. I rolled my eyes. That was fine by me, I could keep going. I looked back up at the sky, tracing patterns in the orange and pink clouds with my eyes. Train, bird wings, and a pot, I said to myself as I made shapes. I heard Squall sputter, but I didn't bother to look. Book, sheep, and a shoe.

I looked back towards the house in the growing darkness. I saw Zell jumping excitedly around Matron, who was exiting the house. I looked at Squall.

Or where Squall was, anyway.

I felt a small flutter of panic. This could be a trick on me. I looked around wildly, but I didn't see him. I may have been a willful kid, but I hadn't totally lost my morals. I took a deep breath and dived under. It was dark, but I saw the white of Squall's hand. I reached out for it, and grabbed it, trying to kick for the surface as hard as I could. I didn't realize that anything could be so heavy underwater.

I was running out of breath, but I knew I couldn't let go of Squall. Everyone would be angry with me if he drowned. I held my breath tightly and kicked harder. I was angry with Squall. If he admitted I was a better swimmer, we both would have been at the house and eating. Now it meant that I was in big trouble when Matron found out. I guess my anger gave me strength, because I broke the surface and took great gulps of air. I made sure Squall's face was out of the water.

I was tired now. I could support myself, but it was difficult with Squall. I began to kick towards shore, but I realized with growing horror I had little energy left. And it had become dark, and the distance from where we were to shore seemed to grow.

Then, Matron appeared. It was so dark; I guess I couldn't see her. She kicked off her shoes and began wading quickly towards us, and then swimming. She looked at me, saying nothing, and took hold of Squall. I followed her back silently. I realized I would get in the biggest trouble yet.

Back at shore, I continued to follow behind Matron dutifully, feeling the stares of Quistis, Zell, Irvine and Selphie. They were half accusing, but half in awe. I nearly drowned Squall, but I saved him as well.

That night, I was sent to bed without dinner and a promise of a severe punishment the next day. Still, when I turned on my side and looked at the moon through the window, I whispered triumphantly to myself that I was still the winner.

> > >

Irvine's face snapped me out of my memories. He looked unusually serious, and was alone. He didn't even tip the stupid hat to me, and he normally can't resist doing it. It's like a nervous tic or something.

"Hey Irvine," I said casually, as if we were just two friends meeting. "What's up?"

"I've been sent my Squall to ensure that you remain off Garden property." He said, a little uncomfortably.

I indicated the wall of Garden I was leaning against. "I'm not on Garden property. I'm outside of it. See the wall? That's how I know." I might have been a little too condescending, because Irvine's normally pleasant face turned into a scowl.

"Just make sure you stay on that side of the wall." I saw his hand tighten on the gun he carried over his shoulder.

I glanced at the time. It was about fifteen minutes since I left the infirmary.

Irvine's curiosity obviously got the better of him. "Why did you come back here?" he blurted.

I raised my eyebrows. "Didn't Mr. Commander let you in on anything?"

Irvine remained awkwardly quiet. I'm guessing he didn't want to admit he was out of the loop. I shrugged. "It's not your business, anyway."

"Irvine!" We both turned to the new voice. I saw Rinoa coming down the main path in front of Garden. She pushed the gate open and came to stand next to me. In spite of the situation, I felt glee that she chose to show her support for me by standing where she did.

Irvine looked a little unsure of himself, but his hold on his gun eased a little. "Rinoa, I don't know if you should be here, I mean, it's _Seifer._" In spite of myself, I felt a little amused.

"I know it's Seifer." She replied, not looking at me. "I'll handle this from here."

"Squall said –"

"Squall said to make sure he's off garden property," Rinoa interrupted. "And he is. So you can go back now. I can handle this."

He scratched the side of his head, a little confused. He opened his mouth to speak further, but Rinoa shot him a warning glance. "You just better let Squall know about this, I don't want to get yelled at," he said, before tipping his hat to her and leaving.

I waited until he was out of sight before I began to talk. "You got my note," I said to her.

Rinoa opened her hand and showed me the crumpled note I passed to her when I left the infirmary. She didn't say anything, but kept staring at the note, as if she couldn't believe what she did. Funny enough, I didn't know what to say, either. She looked so small, standing there forlornly. I took the note from her hand and shoved it into my pocket. It seemed like that was causing her some emotional trouble. That seemed to start her out of her thoughts.

Her face was serious. "I don't know why you asked to see me," she said. "And I don't know why I've come. I just…Seifer, I just need to be at peace with everything."

"Well, me too." I said. "That's why I came back, isn't it?"

To my immense surprise and displeasure, Rinoa's face clouded over with anger. "I underestimated your selfishness, Seifer." She said simply. "You may have atoned for your wrongs, but look at what you've done to me."

What she said had a ring of truth to it. Over the years, I guess I must have gotten used to the trouble I've caused everywhere I've went, and I didn't see it anymore. Realizing this hurt me. I let myself slump against the wall, fully feeling the aches from the fight. I began to doubt myself. I thought I had come with good intentions. Maybe Fujin was right. Wearily, I sat on the curb and rested my head in my hands.

I was more than surprised when Rinoa decided to sit next to me. Our shoulders were touching. "Sometimes I hate Garden." She said to no one in particular. I looked up at her, and she smiled wanly. "Sometimes. Sometimes I don't want to deal with all the politics with the students, and sometimes I don't want to deal with Selphie telling me everything will get better if I join the festival committee. I belong there, but somehow, I also can't belong there."

"Like me." I muttered, putting my head back into my hands. "Even before I tried those sorceress stunts, I was already 'problematic'." I hated that word. It was the label they gave me. I turned my head to look at her, and for a brief moment, a ripple of understanding passed through us, and I could see my expression on her face.

It faded though, and she turned to look away. "But when I'm not hating Garden, I love being there. With Squall, mostly."

It hurt. Hearing his name come from her lips like that was something I never wanted to hear again. I would have given up Hyperion for her to say my name like that. "You know, during my last few years at Garden, I was determined to stay because of you. I figured I could help the Forest Owls as a SeeD. And before that… I was just too young to go anywhere else."

Rinoa smiled at me sadly. "Seifer, what are we going to do?"

> > >

To be continued…

A/N: Sooooo, thanks to all the fantastic folks who reviewed. I dub thee awesomer than cool, and more superb than most. I shall be away camping later this week, and I will try updating before then, but no promises. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	7. The Puppy

Three Memories

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII doesn't belong to me. Therefore, I do not own it. I am making no money off of this, it is purely for my own enjoyment, and for those who see fit to read it.

Enjoy!

Chapter 7: The Puppy

> > >

I was so confused as I sat on the curb outside Garden with Seifer. I was angry with him, I was sad for him, but I also felt like there was this boundary I couldn't cross with him. This was because of Squall, and no matter how angry I was with _him_, some part of me knew it wasn't permanent. It didn't stop making feel like shit, though.

Seifer looked so broken. It shouldn't have surprised me. He was a broken man. He gambled everything on the whole sorceress deal and lost it all. I didn't like seeing him like that, when all I knew of Seifer before was a firm sort of pride.

I should have known Squall would have reacted the way he did. His long-time rival and enemy making an unwelcome appearance in his life, just when things were starting to go well for the first time in a long while. It scared me. I was afraid something would trigger him like that again. I didn't want to see Squall so out of control, the same way I don't want to see Seifer torn apart.

So in all honestly, I was lost in despair when I asked Seifer what I should do. It was rhetorical. I would have ended up saying goodbye to him, and gone back inside to make up with Squall. I didn't expect Seifer to do what he did.

He grabbed my hands. "Rinoa, those times you hated Garden. Do you really mean it?"

I shifted. "Of course I do. I hate it now," I added truthfully. I really did. I would have still been on that Forest Owls train if I never heard of Balamb Garden. All of this could have been avoided.

Seifer seemed to make a decision. He stood up, pulling me to my feet. "Alright then, let's go."

I blinked. "Go?" He didn't let go of my hands.

"Whenever I felt I hated Garden, all I wanted to do was get away from it for awhile. So let's go away." Seifer said, making it seem like the most reasonable thing in the world.

Half of me ached to go. To get away from the tangled mess I had created there and the notion that my absence was temporary made it seem less…cowardly, I suppose. The other half said I had responsibilities to see to. I couldn't just abandon Squall here without any warning. And to leave him for Seifer! The darker part of this was someone had to watch over me, just in case. I was the sorceress, after all. I could blow up any town at any given time of the day. I sighed.

I tried to pull away from him. Seifer held me tight. "I can't, Seifer." I said as firmly as I could.

"Why not?" He said. His green eyes were almost hypnotic to me. "Just for awhile, until things settle down and you feel ready to go back."

I became uncertain. "I can't just run from things…" I paused. Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

> > >

I was almost fifteen. At that time, my father still hired private tutors for me. Back then, he probably still hoped that I would follow in his footsteps and have some sort of political or military career. I was made to learn history and geography, politics and math, rhetoric and public speaking. My father was a pompous airbag and called it a superlative blend of classical and modern learning. I guess he did care about me in his strange way, and I've come to terms with it. Too bad it wasn't enough.

After my lessons that day, my father's aide came to me with a message from him.

"Miss Caraway, the General requests that you join him for dinner tonight."

I bit my tongue. The people who worked for my father persisted in calling me Miss Caraway, even after I told them to call me Rinoa. Miss Caraway wasn't me. "My father would like me to join him at the office?" I said acidly. I always ate alone at our stupidly huge table, and even when he was home in time for dinner, he avoided me.

The man was well trained. He didn't even blink. "There will be a guest tonight, and the General would like you to be presentable."

I scowled. "Well then, I'll make sure I'm there in my best pajamas."

"The General assures me that he will be most displeased if you do not mind his request." The aide saluted as if I were my father and marched off.

If my father was upset, then all the better for me. He only seemed to know I existed when he was angry with me. I spent the afternoon shut in my room, reading some books. I heard my father return home in the evening, accompanied by a voice I hadn't heard before. I ignored the sounds and continued reading.

They probably had some drinks, because it was a good half hour before my maid, Elise, knocked on my door and let herself in. "Miss Rinoa, you better hurry and get dressed for dinner, your father is getting impatient."

I shrugged. "Why should I bother turning up for dinner when he never does?" It was a fair question. Elise looked so agitated I groaned. "Fine, fine. I'll be down soon." I wrenched my closet open and located a plain white blouse and some dress pants. I buttoned my shirt with the grim pleasure that I was dressed like some 'working commoner', in my father's terms.

My father was seated at the head of the table, doing a remarkable job of hiding his irritation. Some other man, dressed in a military uniform, sat at the opposite end, in what was supposed to be my seat. He was almost as old as my father, but didn't look quite as supercilious. I almost felt friendly towards him. I sat at the middle.

"Rinoa, this is Lieutenant General Dorcas." My father said. I nodded, politely enough. After that, I just sat pointlessly through the meal.

When coffee was being served, I found myself being addressed again by my father. "Rinoa, I asked the Lieutenant General for dinner because he has offered to further your education by letting you intern with him at work."

I spat out a bit of my coffee in spite of myself. "What?"

"You don't have to accept the offer now, of course. The General has told me about your impressive studies, and I think you'd be well suited for the program." Dorcas said.

"There is only one position, and the internship is very prestigious." My father was saying. "I'm sure Rinoa will accept."

I set my cup down on the table, shaking with resentment. I wasn't about to let him take control of my life. "I must apologize, Lieutenant General, but I have to decline. I'm not as suited for the position as my father thinks." I said loudly.

My father's eyes narrowed. "Rinoa," he said warningly.

"Excuse me." I pushed my chair back so hard it fell over, and left the room. I slammed the French doors as hard as I could, giving me more satisfaction. I didn't go back to my room. My father would have looked for me there. I went instead to the music room, where we have an old grand piano sitting there collecting dust.

I'm told mother used to play on it. My father never knew I liked to visit this room, but there's this large portrait of mother on the far wall, and I sometimes sit on the piano bench and stare at it.

I only remember her voice and her scent. I missed her. I still miss her. If only she didn't get into that car…if only she were still alive…

I don't know how long I sat there, staring at my mother's portrait, but I heard the door open. I didn't turn around, but I knew it was my father. He was silent for a moment, maybe looking at my mother too. But then he had to speak.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but I told Dorcas you will further consider the offer. I expect you to accept it, Rinoa." He said.

I didn't reply to him. I carefully creaked open the lid of the piano and hit some random notes, knowing it was anger him further. I would have liked to learn how to play the piano, and mother once promised me she would, but my father wouldn't let me after she died.

"Rinoa, did you hear me?"  
Something in his tone made me snap. I slammed the cover back down onto the piano, and the thud reverberated in the room, sending dust flying into the air. I stood up and glared at him. "No. I am not doing it."

He was turning red, a sign that meant I was about to be yelled at. I didn't let him start. "First of all, I'm not even qualified for that position. Did you bully him into giving it to me? Did you pay him off? What did you do?"

"You are an ingrate." He said stonily. "Here you are, living in one of the nicest mansions in town, with a future assured, and all you want to do is ruin it?"

I laughed spitefully. "I'd rather live with rats in the sewer, they'd be better company than you."

"You are a Caraway and my daughter, so you better start acting like one."

"I'm no Caraway, and I certainly don't want to be your daughter." I spat out. "What would mother think of you if she were still alive?" I was hit with sudden inspiration. "Screw being a Caraway. If all I am is a disgrace to your stupid name, I'll take mother's instead. At least she cared for me." My father stood, struck dumb-struck for once. Having proven my point, I pushed past him. I was leaving. I was getting out of the house.

I ran straight out of the front door, ignoring the guards. I didn't realize it was raining. It didn't matter to me. It felt cleansing. There was no more oppressed Rinoa Caraway. I was Rinoa Heartilly, free and in charge of her life. I caught a passing bus on the way to the shopping arcade, because there was no where else for me to go.

I went straight to the pet store. My father always forbade me to have a dog, and I was determined to have a constant companion who loved me unconditionally. My heart fell when I looked at the prices. Dogs were not cheap, and I couldn't have it charged to the Caraway account after I denounced him like that. I watched the puppies play for awhile, and trudged back outside.

The rain had stopped, so I figured I'd walk around town. The good thing about Deling is that everything is always open, so I didn't have to go back anytime soon. I paused for a moment by the hotel. I knew mother used to play the piano there. I contemplated whether I should visit it or not.

I was distracted out of my thoughts when I heard some garbage cans crash in the alleyway next to the hotel. I moved towards the noise carefully. Then I heard a happy sort of whining. It was a dirty puppy looking through the garbage for food. A stray, judging from it's mixed look. I crouched and held my hand out to it, and it eagerly came to sniff my finger, licking it frantically.

That settled it for me. I picked the puppy up in my arms, and I didn't care that it was making my white shirt dirty. I knew what to name it. I had a name chosen for a puppy ever since mother died. I called the dog Angelo, and I stood for a moment, happily stroking its head. I jumped when the garbage cans crashed again, and Angelo leapt out of my arms, growling in warning.

I was afraid. What was I doing in an alleyway in Galbadia, anyway? Countless of people get robbed in the dark side streets, and it wasn't unusual for a body to turn up every now and then. I began to edge away from the voices approaching me.

"We're not going to hurt anyone….not yet, okay?"

"So we are?"

"Only the bastards who deserve it. Like Deling, for one. That's a fathead if I ever saw one."

"I dunno, Watts, my stomach won't be able to handle – "

Stupidly, I slipped over some garbage and landed heavily on the ground, knocking over some bottles. Angelo began to bark.

"Hey! Who's there?"

I began to curse myself. If I was murdered, it would have been because of my own stupidity. The two men caught up with me. I peered up at them in the darkness. They didn't seem to be too much older than myself, and somehow, didn't seem to be very dangerous. One of them was crouched in front of my, clutching his stomach, and Angelo was running circles around him. I wanted to laugh.

"I'm Rinoa," I said as the other one pulled me to my feet. "And you were planning on killing Vinzer Deling."

"No we weren't," said the guy who was standing.

"I heard you." I pointed out. "Are you some sort of resistance group? I've heard a lot about Deling. In fact, I have sources." It was true, if my father deigned to speak with me at all, it was to go on about him. I don't know why I offered this to them, but they just seemed so…ill-prepared for an assassination. It seemed like a game. Squall was probably right about the Forest Owls.

"How can we trust you?"

"I live at the Caraway mansion."

The crouching guy jumped up. "What? You're the General's daughter?" His eyes were fairly bulging, probably because he realized how useful I could be.

I shrugged. "Biologically speaking…we're not on very good terms." For the second time that night, inspiration struck me. "Listen. I can get you information about anyone you want in the Galbadian government. My father isn't very tight-lipped about business at home, because he wants me to go into the government as well. He doesn't keep his study locked either, and all his papers are there. I can help your resistance group out."

"What do you want in return?"

I smiled. "Just a place to live, and a guarantee that you won't do anything to my father. We may not be on good terms, but he's still my father. Besides, that's where most of our info will come from."

They looked at each other. "Alright." The crouching one said. "I'm Zone, this is Watts."

Watts shook my hand. "We're the Forest Owls."

> > >

Seifer leaned his head over on my shoulder, and the sudden weight of him made my heart skip a beat. "Think of it as a vacation, princess." He said softly, his lips brushing my neck lightly.

I involuntarily sighed, and he took it as my agreement, because he pulled me to my feet. I think I lost all of my resistance to him in that moment, because we were walking away from Garden, hand in hand, and I didn't see fit to stop him. A tiny niggle in the back of my mind was still screaming Squall's name, but I didn't want to hear it anymore. I didn't want to put the effort into pretending I loved being at Balamb Garden every single second of the day to make Squall happy. I wanted his happiness, yes, but it didn't seem like he cared so much about mine.

"The car I rented isn't far off from here, and from Balamb we can head to Fisherman's Horizon." Seifer was saying. I wasn't listening properly. Everything took a delightfully fuzzy haze for me, as if my mind were draining itself, letting only my instincts take over.

For a second, I worried that it was the sorceress in me taking over, making me feel so light. As soon as the thought surfaced, it evaporated. I was left carefree and happy, like a huge burden had been lifted.

> > >

To be continued…

Hope you liked this chapter! I veered off temporarily from the main story to fill in some of Rinoa's backstory (I always wanted to do it). If you didn't want to read it, you could have just scrolled down to the present time in the story, but it becomes so much shorter. Anyway, sorry for the wait, I was away camping during the Canada Day long weekend, as you might have already known. I'll have the next chapter up in the next few days, but definitely not tomorrow. Thanks for reading, reviews are always a boon!


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